Taking Back Control

Couples CounsellingAre you feeling stretched to your limit, stuck with your problems, full of worry with few options in sight? Then you are probably feeling overwhelmed and have loss control over the situation. Loss of control can lead to feelings of helplessness, which can be followed by feelings of depression and anxiety.

Loss of control can cause people to suffer unnecessarily but this can be changed when they discover that control is only a matter of perspective and we can regain control back without the problem being “fixed”.

In any given situation there are aspects of the situation that are within and outside of our control. When people fixate on the things that are outside of their control they immediately feel helpless. Instead it is more productive to focus on the things within our control such as our own behaviour, expectations, attitude, feelings, boundaries and choices, rather than focusing on the limitations of the situation or the person. When the focus is on what you can do and not what you can’t you can start to take action. The actions and the choices you make can in turn have the capacity to influence change and improve how you feel.

Tips on how to take control back:

  • Write a list of the things that are within and outside of your control
  • Accept what is outside of your control and learn to let go
  • Don’t strive for perfection it is rarely achievable
  • Adopt a new perspective
  • Review your priorities
  • Learn new ways to manage stress
  • Stop contemplating and take action

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